Sherdie

Two months between check-ins. Oops. This is the part where you tell me I’m doing it wrong, I think.

Am I doing it wrong? Not too sure. Talking to a dear friend just now, I said that I feel like I’ve made it through the tunnel and into the light. So something is working. I’ve been chipping away at this, whatever this is. This complex muddied thing that needs shifting. Making little spaces here and there, and then filling them up with light and love and softness to crowd out the stress and sad and crunchiness. Lots of reframing things as choices, such as working late or on weekends because I’m choosing to. Lots of trying to sneak around the ego and adrenaline thing, which is still hard, but getting easier with practice. Being okay with doing things less than perfectly… I really suck at.

I’m excited about keeping on with all of this. Keeping on carving out those little spaces for myself. Doing things for no other reason than I want to. Not doing things for no other reason than I don’t want to. Ridiculous that those two statements should seem at all remarkable. Still, that’s what I’m working with. And it’s making everything (paradoxically even doing the stuff I don’t want to do) easier. In October, I’m going to learn how to make cheese. Why? Because it makes my heart quicken (you should follow that link, and read it).

A way to go still, and a few more navel-gazing blog posts ahead. But progress, for sure.